its a wednesday and its raining. im a bit of a basket of emotions. each one is fighting for its place so it can be felt the most. i think im just tired. i want chinese. i have so much to do that i dont want to do any of it. if every one that keeps placing a new responsibility into my open hands every day could stop i could maybe give part of myself to someone in a healthy, happy manner. i dont want to eat but all i want to do is eat something i actually want to eat. i wasted so much time tonight trying and hoping to make things worth it or different and it didnt work until i gave up. by the time i gave up it was just.. too much. i wish (insert pronoun) acted like a real (insert pronoun) instead of what they keep doing. although im happy, and maybe a bit jealous, i wish someone wasnt so wrapped up in… i’m stopping here. and i wish i could fix broken hearts. and spend more quality time. i wish i had the right words and the right smiles and the right moments for people. i can suck. i wouldnt know why a single soul would be reading this right now. what if i changed my head and told myself new things. i wish i had a weiner puppy. this was a first-shot picture. every one knows about first-shot pictures. but i chose it anyway because it fits. the sun is out again. i hate that. i hate when it rains and then the sun comes out. i like rain. just stay rainy. coulds are more relatable than sunshine anyway. i havent gotten ready for school in a while. my hair keeps getting dirty. it’s hard being surrounded by girls who dont like the way they look all day. it makes me look at myself more. i wish people around me could help me be happy, but they need to be happy first. i want to make them feel happy though- i cant seem to figure out how to do that anymore. i wouldnt mind anon’s tonight. i like muscians. i wish i could draw tattoo’s all over myself just to see what they looked like. i want movies and food and a dimly lit bedroom for a longgg few hours. my parents can leave for a few days. i want a job i love. i think i might miss people i never thought i would have. i hope i can figure out these lyrics. maybe i will just take a nap…

everythings sushi.