my mind is kind of racing and I’m mad and kind of scared and maybe even a little bit sad. I’m going to publicly talk about my boyfriend even though he’ll read this. or maybe he won’t tonight, but he will. I know he will. because he loves me as much, if not more, as I love him. strong love. not mushy and warm… -but sensitive and concerned and observant, and nurturing; love. that kind.
he just… ticked me off. out of his gentleness towards me (that I was unaware of until after he gave up waiting) tonight he was frustrated, which he had every right to be. I wanted to make it better some how but… I don’t know, that’s the thing. my flaw of “if it’s not a quick fix then I’m giving up” kicked in and we tried moving on. well, what do you know, Ryann, that conversation offended me. just… why.

sometimes people say dumb stuff. sometimes we mean what we say, sometimes we dont. sometimes we don’t think, sometimes… we don’t care.
I’m not mad anymore. I just want things to be better
I have this sick fascinational comfort in feeling like it won’t work.

I missed you today. it’s not about that at all.

….none of you needed to read this, but you probably did.

but ry, you’re my rock. you mean the moon to me. I hope you wound up having a good time tonight. xox

-personal blog probs-