July 2011
right now I want to cry and throw up. I feel so much sadness and defeat and like im just UGH uuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
I need Jesus I just really really need Jesus with me right now.
this, I’m not happy, I don’t have peace yet it’s what everyone is telling me to do. so u went with it.. ans I knew it wasn’t going to go good.. but when was the right time? this is too much. I jut want to say I can’t do this and that it’s too mug to handle but I know that’s wrong because I can do this and God is my strength. I’ve jut never felt so much defeat.
I’m done. but I don’t want to be. I just UGGGHHHHHHH.
p.r.a.y.
I just… pray. please pray right now.
you obviously dont know us, that’s all.
who we truly are defends us, I dont feel like I have to stand and say “no!” because even though your assumptions are completely wrong, I’m not about to treat this irrationally in response.
we are daughters of a King. we do our best to represent Him in our manor. if you knew us, you would know this to be true.
clean intentions in hand, my grip couldn’t get tighter
you see the one thing I have learned is that the truth will always be understood in the end
you have every right, I could never blame you, ever
I wouldn’t dare to try and control this
not anymore
that’s the ironic thing about this too, the fact that at the most untimely moment I finally surrender control
i’v made a darn good mess, but my good King knew this would happen, He has allowed it to
I finally got it today, that He knew what I would do, the choices I’d make, words I’d say, emotions I would feel
and He knew the same about the others involved too
my heart aches a little, but finds peace in the pain.
learning to make mistakes has been quite a test.
but my good Lord, He is the only One who can understand this, and take care of this.
He see’s my heart. He knows what happened. He knows the strategic trap the enemy had constructed and He understood that I would crash and burn there a moment.
but right now, I know that God can make beautiful things out of ash’s
I’m trusting Him.
I don’t understand at all.
the things I do know;
I messed up in more than one way
I tried, I failed and I broke
He knows the end of the story… just how Jesus died and the people didn’t understand, tragedies happen but God knows the next page in this book
God writes testimonies
God heals
God gives perspective, peace and understanding
reminded of the words that have been spoken over my life, I will activate the Grace that has been placed in my heart and over my life. the spirit of excellence still exists
King Solomon was a great king but made so many mistakes. even the greatest, they make irrational mistakes. God can still use broken individuals
God if it’s true, if i do have walls, break them… or heal them… whichever it is. sometimes we can mistake the need to be healed with the need to be broke. but just have Your way.
You’ve got this. I’m just gunna crash into Your heart…
when you’re ready to know, you’ll know :)
SUCCESS AT IT’S FINEST
hahahahahahhah
I feel so sick. i feel physically and mentally drained. and I have to work 5-10 tonight. then wake up relate early tomorrow and do the whole thing over. Dog Stand open-noon, meet dad to shop for a few hours, host 5:30-9…
I’m just feelin low. prayers? cause I know Jesus is my strength. I just need His super power strength right now… I feel like I don’t think I can make it through the next ten minutes. but I will. I’m just definitely going to work late.
still thankful.
s’allll good A
I’m so willing to speak, but I feel like no one really wants to listen.
so I guess the lesson is, learn to be a genuine listener. fall in love with it, then, when you’re heart no longer longs for your own self to be heard, but for others to be heard… you will have a chance to speak.
she’s great.
oh my! funny you ask, because that’s basically how the majority of my relationships are! with my 3 sisters, I talk to them very rarely, but we’re still decently close.
and some of my closest friends are people who I hardly see or sometimes even talk to but when I’m with them or talk to them it’s as if we’ve been hanging out for weeks straight. I’d say it’s definitely a blessing -although it can be hard to manage relationships that aren’t that way, you know what I mean? i could list of all of their beautiful names but it would be quite long.
I’m curious why you ask, anon?
mmmaahhhh… partied? not really, no. maybe that one time but nah, i wouldnt count it. I like birthday parties and holiday parties though ;) been to plenty of those<3
and, consuming alcohol has occurred, yes.
you are incredibly sweet. and you know, I’d like to think that those are all correct assumptions. my heart is to take care of te people in my life at whatever cost, and to remain in Christ as best I can and in being content with who he has made me i’v learned to have confidence yeah, I think so.
but really, those could only be answered by the people in my life. it’s the outside looking in sometimes. you know? :)
but thank you. I am so humbled to hear such lovely things
hahahahah that was good that was good Dang
I’ve got some clever anons <3
but shoot, uhm, Esther is my fav in the OT
and revelations is a good one, but I just love the NT equally I think.
I don’t read much but I’m looking to… shame I know.
a moment in my life… well a lot is changing and some hurtful things have been happening lately but I’m so grateful and I’m happy for the sting of it because it’s a chance for growth, insight and wisdom.
& hey, anon, you’re cool too.
I want to help people want to live, I want to encourage them and be the person that helps them realize life is more than just getting through. but could I ever possibly be that person..
now’s your time to shine.
I could quite possibly say
is nothing at all.” —Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott)
I will wait. Waiting is being content in my discontent.